The Mystery of the Gel Type Treat

The day came when I was finally allowed to have real food. I was told in the morning that I would be able to have a light snack in the afternoon and if that went well, I could have dinner. The word snack always gets me excited! Snacks are delicious and much preferable to real food. Of course "snack" to me would entail pretzels or chips, an Icee, some french fries, lovely Snack Bar items. What came to me on a chipped plastic tray was not delicious nachos or salty pretzels...it was a solitary cup of what I thought was Jello. Ok, I could handle Jello, it's sick people food, that's fine. What was not fine was the actual product inside. The foil lid described the contents as...wait for it.....Gel Type Treat. Are you kidding me? Gel type? As in gel-ish? Gel like, but not ACTUAL gel? And treat? Really? If you have to point out that it's a "treat," it's likely not. I was starving so I went ahead and dug in. The taste was, well, there really was no taste, it was more of a lukewarm, semi-solid, vaguely salty concoction with an orange-ish aftertaste. I ate more out of sheer desperation, but couldn't force myself to finish it. I was almost more disturbed by the name than by the actual taste. When the nurse came around to collect my garbage I asked her why exactly this was referred to as "Gel Type Treat," it seemed a little more nefarious and vague than necessary. She said that most of the food had to be suitable for vegetarians and gelatin was not. And that, my friends, was the day that I learned exactly where gelatin comes from. How I missed that memo, I don't know, but you can't unlearn information like that. She told me that the "treat" that I consumed was made from processed seaweed rather than various and sundry horse parts. I didn't really like either scenario and am happy to refrain from both Jello and Gel Type Treat for the rest of my days on Earth. And, in my afterlife, if Jello shots are served in Hell, I'll just opt for Zima. You know there'll be Zima there.