Exit Stage Left

Finally, it was time for me to go home. I got the go ahead from the doctor and was wheeled to the car (not by the same kid that experienced the stool softener incident with me, thank GOD). It was after 8:00 p.m., but all I wanted was some real food. I really wanted pizza, but that would be out of the question for weeks. I was told to keep a bland diet until I knew how my body would react to the reduced pancreas function. Goody. The only thing I could think of that is relatively bland, but instant was Subway. I nibbled on a plain, dry oven roasted chicken breast on wheat and contemplated my good fortune. I was alive. I no longer had a ticking time bomb in my gut. I got to go home to my boy and my bed and my life. Walking in the door for the first time was beyond description. Home never smelled so good. We weren't sure if I would be able to make it up the stairs, but before I even knew what I was doing, I was in my bedroom just walking around touching things. The first few days at home were a blur of painkillers, naps and chicken broth. My son stayed a few more days with his grandparents since my husband had to work and I couldn't care for him. My husband's company was wonderful and let him switch to an 8-hour day-shift so that our son could go to daycare and maintain a normal schedule. Normal except that all of the duties that I did were now performed by my husband as I lay on the couch watching. I hate feeling helpless and I really hate people having to do things for me. I almost wished I was back in the hospital so I wouldn't feel like such a burden just watching my husband single-parent our child. I felt useless. It's one thing to be away and not able to help, it's quite another to be sitting in the same room and feeling like a lazy bum. Being the stubborn-ass that I am, I may have not listened to all of the doctor's advice about taking it easy. As soon as I was able to stand upright I started in on laundry and little chores that wouldn't exhaust me. When the doctor told me I could resume working in 6-8 weeks following surgery, I heard 3 weeks and jumped back in. I don't know if I did any permanent damage, but looking back now, I don't think I did myself any favors either. I still have a lingering soreness to the entire left side of my abdomen 2 1/2 years later. If I sneeze really hard there are times that I swear my insides are going to fall out on the floor. This may have happened regardless of pushing myself too hard, who's to say.