Good for Today, Bad for Tomorrow

I finally got a call that the growth on my thyroid was benign and would likely go away over time. I was prescribed a beta-blocker for my heart palpitations and sent on my way. I was relieved that nothing was wrong and my life could continue as previously scheduled (well, for awhile anyway). I never got a second opinion or did any follow up on the growth because it was good news, nothing to worry about. I wish now that I had gone elsewhere for one more check.

Let's fast forward several years to May 2010. In the meantime I went through a miscarriage, a difficult time getting pregnant again, a long-ass labor, the appendix and pancreatic adventure, a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and miraculously another pregnancy! I hadn't intended to get pregnant, I figured that it just wasn't going to happen for me again. Plus, I have a foot long scar down my abdomen, a boat-load of internal scar tissue and an abdominal wall that will never be the same. This pregnancy, while ultimately a gift, is also terrifying for all of the unknowns. No one can really tell me what my abdomen will do as it expands. I've been told that the scar will expand with my belly, but will never contract. I suppose after the pregnancy I can go windsurfing and not need a sail. I've also been told that the scar tissue will break apart toward the end of the pregnancy and will not feel good. But no one knows for sure. "For sure" That is what I want to hear. I want to hear that my body will do what it is made to do, for sure.

I finally felt relieved when I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Since the pregnancy caught me off guard, I really didn't want to believe it was real until I heard it for my own ears. Even 4 pregnancy tests didn't convince me. The doctor said everything sounded great, but wanted to know why my neck was so swollen.

My what? Who cares? I told her that I had problems with my thyroid in the past and she set me up an appointment for a thyroid ultrasound. Not this debacle again....